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05 July 2015 @ 01:03 am
A Paper Lullaby [1/?]  
Title: A Paper Lullaby [1/?]
Word Count: 1013
Rating: NC-17 (PG-13 for this chapter)
Genre: psychological, romance, drama, angst
Pairing: Michael/Mahone, side Michael/Sara and Mahone/Pam

Spoilers: all 4 seasons
Cameron is dead and there's only one person Alex can blame. The very same person whom he's been chasing for the last few months, the very same person that now is calling him. The only person that can help Alex find his peace again.

Cameron was dead. His little boy, the only joy he had in this world, the reference point he was heading back to was dead, his tiny body lifeless and shattered. He was innocent, knew nothing, wouldn’t say anything, was no threat-
Oh. Oh, now. Alex nearly laughed as the thought crept into his numb mind.
His little buddy was now a threat, a deadly threat to whatever goddamn bastard that had laid his hands on the boy. Alex would do just about anything to slay the son of a bitch.
He run his fingers through his disheveled hair that he didn’t bother to wash or comb. He exhaled shakily, feeling as another onrush of desperate tears was nearing him.
Cameron was dead. Cameron. Cameron was dead.
He was alive when Alex called. He was safe with Pam. He was safe right until... until Alex got out of the prison, paired up with Whistler and went to talk with Scofield about how Sara wasn’t really dead, how they were capable of bringing the Company down, how all that he needed to do was to trust them.
That trust caused both Whistler and his little boy end up killed by a gunshot. Maybe not even a gunshot, maybe there was more, Alex didn’t dare to ask, not yet. He was devastated, absolutely broken and lost. Just when he thought everything was going to be fine. He was going to go back to his family. I’ll turn this world upside down to get back to you. He wasn’t sure if Pam would have him, it would probably never be the same again. But, god, he wanted her, he wanted to be with her, for her, besides her, raising their kid—
He muffled his cry in his fists, as cold sweat run down his spine. For a short moment – a very, very short moment, he wondered why they hadn’t picked up Pam. Why they chose an innocent boy that hadn’t even reached ten years of age. Alex knew, of course, why that was – once Pam would be gone, Cam would be placed in a high security childcare, maybe foster care, maybe even orphanage. Either way, it would be made sure that he was safe. While now... Pam was an adult, and as much as she was frightened and just as broken as Alex was, she could make her choice to come back home, to deal with her grief on her own, maybe try to reach Alex, maybe search for the killer herself. Alex didn’t know that, Pam wouldn’t so much as look at him when he’d arrived at the crime scene. She had to know he was there, she just... or maybe she didn’t. Maybe all she could see in front of her eyes was the bloodstained body of her child. Her and his only child. Only thing that linked them together after divorce, the only excuse to dial another person’s number without seeming to eager.
He needed the get his hands on the bastard. He wouldn’t calm down until he’d found him. He wanted to break something, to demolish, to destroy, he yearned for it, he wanted to tear apart whoever that would come close to him...
And there he was. There he was, his name blindingly light on his phone’s screen, the only thing in the hotel room that would be seen in the dark that Alex had been sitting in for hours. He cursed under his breath, his head going dizzy with some bizarre feeling he couldn’t describe as he stared at the screen and listened to the vibrating sound. All too bright, all too loud and vivid for his liking. He wanted to spend the rest of the night in the shadows. Hell, he wanted to creep into the shadows until his very last days if he didn’t felt the need, the pure desire to put his son’s killer down.
But the caller wouldn’t let him. He was reading his name aloud in his mind, having said it so many times during those last months that he lost count. The name that would haunt him in his dreams, roll off his tongue so often and so casually as if it had been the very first word he learned. The name that would be the centre of his actions, his main focus, the key to get back to his family, to get back to his life—
He couldn’t deal with him now. He just couldn’t. He wouldn’t know what to say, he wasn’t even sure he was able to think in coherent sentences. And Alex wouldn’t ever break down in front of him. Well, in front of his mobile phone to be precise. But still, in person or just through the speaker, he would never show that he was weak, that he could crumble. He’d done enough of that back at SONA, he’d exposed and ashamed himself, almost got screwed over, had it not been for the haunting image of Haywire and the very last pieces of his common sense. He was never going to show his vulnerability, never again. He couldn’t afford to do that if he wanted to keep up appearances, be strong and unbreakable at least in the eyes of others.
In the eyes of the caller. He wanted to be feared and respected. And left alone.
And yet, a quiet, barely audible voice in the back of his head hinted, being alone was the last thing he desired.
He reached for the phone, hissed feeling how stiff his unmoving body had become. He held the small mobile in his trembling hands, his bloodshot, tired eyes never leaving the name displayed on the screen. The stubborn, insistent name. The vibration eventually died out, the screen darkened. Alex felt both relieved and disappointed, not for long though; before he’d put the phone away, it rang again.
Alex involuntarily stroked the name with his thumb, hearing it echo in his mind. He waited for another fifteen seconds for the vibration to die out.
The third time Michael rang, Alex picked up right away.

A/N: First fic in a very long time, first fic for this fandom.

Let’s just say Alex hasn’t been arrested and is staying at some hotel, Self hasn’t showed up till this point, Michael and Sara haven’t reunited yet. This was supposed to be slash only, but then I realized it would lack realism, hence Michael/Sara and Mahone/Pam *loves to make things complicated*.
I wanted to write some nice, simple story, but then it turned out that the very first thing that came into my head was an image of a grieving Alex... and my attempt to write something light and short just broke into pieces. Dang.

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I'll try to post chapter 2 soon. Thank for reading!
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